I just Ate, Why am I still Hungry?

Client: “I’m so hungry but it’s only 10 o’clock; I shouldn’t be this hungry.”

Me: “Why don’t you think you can eat now if you’re hungry?”

Client: “Because if I eat an earlier lunch that means I’ll get hungry for dinner earlier, and then I’ll be hungry again after dinner and want a snack.”

Me: “What’s wrong with having a snack later in the evening if you get hungry again?”

Client: “Because I’ll go over my calorie goal and gain weight.”

Me: “Do you have facts to back that up or is that your eating disorder trying to scare you? Your body knows what you need, and it wouldn’t ask for more food if it didn’t need more fuel. Hunger is a sign that your body has used the fuel you gave it.”

One of the many things I love about recovery is my body’s innate wisdom and how clearly it communicates to me. Once I began challenging the eating disorder voice and starting to listen to my body, I slowly learned how to decipher what it was asking for and respond accordingly. I kept finding myself saying, “nothing bad happened… my weight didn’t blow up….,” and overtime, it started to feel more natural to eat, and the eating disorder voice got quieter.

While we all have a natural rhythm when it comes to our appetites, that rhythm can change based on activity, hormones, staying up later, being sick, and other reasons. What this means is, our bodies don’t play games- they ask for what they need, when they need something, through a variety of ways based on each person.

For those who follow a more rigid and restrictive structure, this can be very scary and overwhelming, as many have learned to interpret these cues from our bodies negatively. Eating disorders can be *very* convincing, even if they doe’t have facts to back up their claims. Or, you may be someone who has experienced feeling and eating out of control when you do listen to your body, reinforcing that you can’t trust yourself. However, what we aren’t seeing clearly, through no fault of our own, is that that loss of control most often comes from a place of restriction.  

Diet culture has caused more harm than good

We’ve come to believe that we can’t trust our appetites and, instead, should rely on an arbitrary number of calories, percentage of macros, or external rules that are often harmful and don’t take into account our unique needs and wants. Sadly, with the underlying belief being that we need to shrink our bodies to be better. I have yet to see this approach work in anyone’s favor long term.

When someone tells me that they have to stick to 1200 calories a day because My Fitness Pal told them to, I respond by explaining that My Fitness pal would tell every person with a similar weight, lifestyle, and goal that they all need the same amount of calories. Your body knows better than an algorithm.

Boundaries, not rules

Does this mean we can’t have structure or boundaries around food? Not at all- both are supportive and necessary for a healthy relationship with food.  What it does mean, is that boundaries and structure have to align with us and our individual needs and wants. What we’re taught are rules, and rules *tell* us what to do. What we need are boundaries that *ask* us what we need and want. Boundaries invite us to work with ourselves, rules- against ourselves. 

Hunger is our ally

There is a biological ebb and flow to hunger. Your body doesn’t care about what time it is; it cares about getting the fuel it needs, when it needs it. The more in sync we become with our hunger, honoring it as it shows up, the better we can support an efficient metabolism and healthier relationship with food.

You may experience a day when you don’t have much of an appetite and then find a couple days later that you’re hungrier because your body is regulating what it needs and when it needs it. Denying this, keeps the eating disorders irrational fears in control of us, holding us hostage.

Honoring hunger puts us back in control

Feeding yourself consistently, in the amounts your body needs and wants, helps cultivate a mutual trust between yourself and your hunger cues, so you can take back control over your eating. For most, this feels liberating and relieving, allowing for more confidence and ease.