How do I stop Bingeing?
On a regular basis, I hear things like,
“When I start eating certain foods, I feel like I can’t stop.”
“I’m so good during the week but on the weekends, I lose all control.”
“I can never just eat one cookie…”
Most of the people with whom I work are confused, overwhelmed, and feel like they’ve lost all control around certain foods. Some even say they feel addicted to food, and It can feel all-consuming and isolating.
We bounce back-and-forth between all or nothing eating, berating ourselves for having no control and being failures, punishing ourselves right back into the same old restrict, binge, shame cycles. And why wouldn’t we with all the conflicting, unrealistic, and unsustainable messages. I remember being so frustrated and wondering, “what the heck do normal people eat?!”
Restriction and it’s relationship to Bingeing
Bingeing is a completely normal response to restriction- both mental and physical. So, when you feel out of control and want to eat everything in sight, it’s often a sign that certain foods are being restricted, and this is your mind and body’s way of communicating this to you.
What most people haven’t been taught, is that our minds and bodies are wired to fight back when they feel deprived. Therefore, when we tell ourselves to cut out certain foods or we start under eating, we can put our bodies on high alert, triggering our natural reaction to overcorrect. This is why our futile attempts to balance out a binge by not eating the next day backfires.
The body’s response? To ramp up hormones that tell us to eat more, which means cravings for energy-dense foods and multiple servings of them. When the body needs more fuel, fast, it knows that it can’t get concentrated energy from fruits and veggies, which is why most people find themselves craving things like cookies and French fries.
Avoidance is not the Answer
Our relationship with food is not improved through avoidance; quite the contrary. When we associate certain foods with weight gain, being bad for us, or feeling out of control around them, our first instinct is often to cut them out. However, as soon as we tell ourselves we can’t have something, it only gives that food power and makes us want it more.
This is why when we do eventually give in, we’re often confronted with a loss of control, reinforcing the belief that those trigger foods have to be avoided because we’re powerless over them.
Creating Allowance, Regaining Control
People confuse allowance and permission with eating anything and everything whenever they want, but that’s not what I’m saying. The point I am trying to make is that all foods can fit into a balanced, healthy lifestyle. When we give ourselves permission to include the foods we enjoy, knowing they won’t be taken away, and eaten alongside an adequate intake, overtime we develop food security, and these foods begin to lose their emotional charge.
Overtime, we begin to view them with more neutrality, so that when we do eat them, we feel more in control, and are able to practice slowing down and mindfulness. Eventually, you may even find that certain foods start to lose their appeal.
Is there more to each person’s situation than just this, yes, which is why nutrition counseling and therapy is so important for anyone struggling with binge eating disorder. By no means do I mean to make this work seem simple, it’s not, I lived it. It’s essential to take an approach that meets you where you are on your journey, working at a pace and in a manner aligned with your needs.
Just as you wouldn’t go to therapy one time to fix a troubled relationship, overcoming any type of disordered eating pattern or beliefs is no different.
Be patient with yourself and understand that this is a process; one that comes with ebbs and flows. And one that I promise you is worth your time and effort.
Warmly,
Lindsey
